Trusting Again

Clayton and I are excited to announce that we will be returning to the National Embryo Donation Center this summer for another embryo transfer!

We haven’t shared this news publicly yet, so let me catch you up to speed.

Two years ago, when we made the decision to try a third and “final” transfer, we chose a sibling set of 4 embryos. That summer, we transferred 2 of those 4 embryos. This successful transfer resulted in the birth of Carter. It also left us with the choice on how to proceed with the remaining 2 embryos. We could keep them and resume the yearly embryo storage fees, release them back to the donation pool for another family to adopt, or use them.

While we weren’t 100% sure we’d try another transfer, we knew we wanted to keep the door open. So we decided to pay the yearly storage fees. Even before having Carter, I think Clayton and I both knew deep down that we would try again. But pretty much the second he was born we knew for sure we’d try! I mean, if you’ve met Carter you know how truly special he is. Words can’t begin to describe our love and gratitude for him. Often, it’s in the smallest, everyday moments that I’m struck with what a miracle he truly is. Reflecting on the ways God ordained every detail which led us to him fills my heart with tangible proof of His goodness.

So yes, we knew we wanted to transfer again, next the question was when. Clayton and I both had peace that sooner than later was our answer. We renewed our home study last year to keep it up to date. Around the beginning of the year I reached out to the NEDC about a summer sibling transfer. Summer is the best time for my school schedule, plus we’ve basically made TN our official vacation spot at this point! Over spring break, we were able to travel to Knoxville for an appointment for medical clearance. This ensures I’m still a good candidate after having a baby. Thankfully we got the green light, plus we got to introduce Carter to the team and Dr. Gordon who performed his transfer.  It was a special moment.

This time around, it feels a lot different, but in the best possible way. We are incredibly hopeful at the chance to give Carter a genetic sibling. How wonderful would it be for him to have someone who shares his story? At the same time, especially because of the losses we experienced before, I am realistic about the fact this may not be our reality. No matter what, we will know we tried can have closure for Carter’s sibling embryos.  My heart feels at peace with letting the Lord choose our family size. My mom said something very wise a few months ago and it really stuck with me. I was talking with her, stressing over all the possible outcomes of another transfer. Because honestly, we could transfer the remaining 2 embryos and get one baby, or two babies, possibly even 3 or no baby at all. My mom said, “You will just do what God is calling you to do, transfer the embryos and then trust that He knows the exact size your family is supposed to be.” Yes, I know I’m blessed to have a logical, loving mother. Her words have given me so much comfort. Just like God already knew Carter was meant for us, He has a perfect plan for these tiny lives. How amazing is it that the same God who created the universe, created each and everyone of us and cares deeply about the details of our lives? What a comfort to have a God who loves us so much.

We’d love your prayers and support one more time as we prepare for this journey. We are grateful for friends and family who continue to walk alongside us.