We are excited to announce we have officially chosen our embryos and the donating families have accepted!
This is a huge praise and major step forward in our embryo adoption process. For us, the matching process was much harder than we expected. We were overwhelmed by the process both mentally and emotionally. I mean, imagine trying to select your potential child. It’s a lot. We prayed God would draw us to the same families. We definitely took our time and didn’t rush our decision.
Throughout the process I knew we couldn’t make a wrong choice, but we prayed God would give us peace. I believe that sometimes in life, God makes answers crystal clear and other times not so clear. But as long as we, as Christians, are seeking Him and walking in obedience we are inside His will. I honestly thought this would be one of those decisions where we would be making a bold step without a perfectly clear answer. But thankfully, I was wrong.
One afternoon a few weeks ago I was spending time with one of my best friends and processing all of my thoughts out loud. As I was talking in circles and trying to explain the tangled web of thoughts in my head, she calmly reminded me of a dream the Lord had given me previously. In that moment I felt God give us our answer! It was an Ah-ha moment, one of those, “why didn’t I think of that!?”, kind of feelings. I sure and thankful for friends who point me to truth.
For now, I don’t plan to share the details of our matches publicly. There are parts of our story, the more personal details, I want to keep for our family (at least for now). However, I will say that we have matched with primary and secondary donor families. Between these two families, we will have 5 embryos saved for us. 5 tiny little frozen lives. 5 sweet image barrers of Christ waiting for a chance at life.
We are now in what is called the “mediation period”. We chose an open adoption, so during the next few weeks we will be working with a mediator to determine the level of openness we will have with the donors. This could range anywhere from a yearly email update, to meeting in person. At this time, Clayton and I are leaning towards starting off with minimal communication, but we are open to more if the relationship develops organically. We believe an open adoption will be best for our child in the future as they will have the opportunity to know their biological family if desired.
Once the Open Donation Agreement is finalized, we will move forward to scheduling our embryo transfer. At this point I do not have an estimate for this. I’m trying to keep an open mind and limited expectations on the timeline. We are trusting God will work out the details as we know His timing is ultimately best.
I’ll close out this blog by sharing a really powerful story.
This summer Clark and I have been visiting our local library weekly. He gets 7 dinosaur books and I choose one Christian fiction book for the week. Last week, as we were checking out, I was sharing with the librarian how much I enjoyed the last book I read and the reasons why (The Masterpiece by Francine Rivers, READ IT!!!!!). She looked at the Karen Kingsbury book I was going to check out and suggested that I swap it for one of the author’s newest releases. I said yes and took home her recommendation without so much as glancing at the title, let alone reading the synopsis. Later that evening I opened the book and to my surprise on page 5 I read the words, “frozen embryo” and “transfer”. The book the librarian had suggested was a story of embryo adoption! I was so shocked I started yelling for Clayton. He thought something was wrong at first and almost didn’t believe me when I told him, but was equally amazed at how God had placed this book in my hands. I cannot wait until we return to the library this week for our new books. I’m so excited to tell the librarian this story and how God worked through her suggestion to speak to my heart.
I know I said that was the end, but I do have one final story. This past Friday I was able to spend time with of my two dear friends that I don’t get to see often enough in person (thankfully we Marco Polo almost daily). These two gifted me with a jar of flowers. 5 Zinnias to be exact. One to represent each of our frozen embryos. It was truly one of the most thoughtful gifts I have ever received in my life. Not only did this gift show me the deep love and support my friends have for my family, but was a true representation of the beauty within this whole process. At times I am unsure and fearful about the unknowns still ahead. But I am choosing to cling to the truth of God’s words that His plans are good and His ways are higher than mine. I’m thankful for friends that encourage me to walk in these truths and remind of His goodness.